Rebirth
by FauxShot
Summary: Rebirth takes a look into the internal and external factors which caused Luna's proverbial 'fall from grace,' as well as her return.
1. Part 1

The royal palace was covered in a soft, creamy orange glow, illuminating the stained glass portraits embedded in its walls. Celestia wore a smile as she trod through, admiring her most cherished wing of Canterlot Castle. The Great Corridor was bathed in a sea of colors and hues, as if a rainbow in the sky, flooding it's recesses of the imminent shadows which would soon lurk about.

For, you see, it was only at the time of day when both moon and sun shone upon Equestria that such a phenomena could happen. The Great Corridor had been built specifically for this purpose; or, at least, that is what the greatest of scholars could determine. It's effect likened to that created by the Elements of Harmony when Celestia had first used them to defeat Discord. Likewise, the effect could only be produced under certain conditions.

Celestia, herself, believed it was by no accident this corridor, as with the Elements of Harmony, had been designed in such a way. She could feel her magic transpire at dusk and dawn, it's strength surged through her. It was a unique sensation; making her alert, more awake, and aware. It was this evidence that led to many of Celestia's convictions of the nature of magic. It was a force far beyond the physical, yet seemingly physical itself. Even after hundreds of thousands of years of intense study by Equestria's finest scholars, naturalists, and magicians, the knowledge of magic's intricacies remained a mystery. Progress had certainly been made in understanding it's composition, form, action, and reaction; but at its core, Celestia believed magic was something that came from inside. It was an entity formed by nature, yet still unnatural in it's workings.

Enveloped in her thoughts, Celestia soon found her walk come to an end as she neared the corridor's balcony; it's doors had been opened to let in the fresh, Summer breeze. The smell of sweet petals and moist air flowed towards her as she took in the summer wind, enjoying what little bit there was to be left. Closing her eyes, Celestia allowed the aroma to transport her to Summer's past. Scenes flashed before her memories: a garden picnic under the shade of an oak tree, a walk through the fragrant palace flowers, a hard day of work which ended in a cool, summer rain. The same rain she felt on the day of her mother's passing; the same summer rain which watered the flowers strewn throughout the Field of Mourning, their buds as scarlet as the blood of those patriots who had fallen in battle in defense of-

"It has begun" a voice suddenly pronounced. Celestia's thoughts dissipated as she was startled back to the present, the bittersweet taste of a summer rain on her tongue, a scene of mourning in her mind. She looked to her sister Luna, already placed upon the balcony. Celestia replied with a forced smile as she joined Luna, watching the sun begin to descend, the moon ascending to its place in the sky. As the sun hid itself from Equestria, so too disappeared her thoughts of the past, destined to arise once again in time.

Both Princesses were silent as they observed the phenomena. The orange star faded from their view, greedily taking the warmth it provided. It disappeared behind lush, green hills and large, dark mountains. The moon rose to its home in the sky, usurping darkness and shadows across valleys and fields, now awake with new life. The green glow of fireflies consumed the landscape, while bats took to the sky, kings and queens of the night.

Celestia preferred a silent balcony to the large crowds of Canterlot, concerning ritualistic affairs. Once per week, she would ceremonially raise the sun at the Canterlot Gardens; but it was nothing more than show. Raising the sun did not depend on Celestia's actions. Instead, she believed it was a matter of her internal magic. When she was a young filly, Celestia could not control the sun. This had changed, however, with the death of her mother. Again, she tasted a bittersweet memory.

Celestia shrugged her thoughts away, shifting her gaze instead toward Luna. Her sister did not wear a smile, nor a frown, but simply gazed at the life which newly emerged from the fields and forests. It was not out of character for Luna to be silent during these times of reflection, often gazing at some faraway place. Celestia had often inquired as to Luna's thoughts. At times, they were met with rich conversation on some piece of philosophy or history which Luna had found that day. Other times, Celestia was met with a quaint remark and silence. She had grown to know Luna over the years they shared together, and could often decipher the meaning of her mood. Tonight, it seemed something was again on her mind.

"Sister, is there something which is bothering you?" Celestia asked gently. Luna's eyes seemed to falter from their strict attention, a statue filled again with life. Luna did not acknowledge her sister for some time, but instead slowly fumbled through the words she tried to convey.

"I..." she began, stifling herself before she could say any more. Luna took a deep breath, exhaling it in frustration before speaking.

"Sister, all of my confidences are held within you. I trust what I reveal will be kept between us?"

"Of course, my dear Sister! I would not dare break the confidence you have bestowed upon me." Celestia drew closer to Luna. It was not often that she questioned Celestia's trust; she immediately inquired further. "What is it that bothers you so?"

"I still mourn for him..." Luna trailed off. Celestia did not speak, but rather nudged Luna forward with her silence. She was reluctant, bearing the stillness for a time.

"Not a week has gone by in which I do not think of him, Sister. Whether I sleep or wake does not matter; in some way, I find him in my thoughts. I cannot escape it, cannot prevent it. He is a part of me, Sister; a part of my life. I cannot cast his memory aside as some object... I do not _want_ to."

"And you should not," Celestia replied, bringing herself closer to Luna. "We should never forget those who hold the greatest place in our hearts."

"At times, Sister, I am not so sure..." Luna replied. She stood silent, wordless. Celestia nuzzled her Sister gently, feeling Luna's warmth in the cool Summer night. She did not speak, but comforted her with affection. Celestia could see the pain in Luna's eyes, accompanied by the rising of tears.

"What am I saying, Celestia? How terrible of me to want such a thing! He... he deserves better from me than this."

"Come now, Luna; it is all right. If he were here with us-"

"If he were here with us..." Luna repeated softly. Neither sister spoke, but stood, listening to the creatures of the night in their symphony of chirps and shrieks, accompanied by Luna's stuttered breaths. Celestia stood by her sister for what felt like hours; she listened to her uneven breaths, and felt her cold tears. Celestia's heart mourned silently for her sister, but no mourning could bring comfort to the bereaved.

At last, Luna removed herself gently from Celestia's embrace, looking into her eyes.

"Sister, you... I hope you will excuse my absence. I require some time alone." Celestia nodded to her sister, nuzzling her once more.

"If you need anything, Sister, I will always be here for you." Luna broke the embrace, careful not to offend her sister as she turned away.

"No Celestia... not always," Luna said, a soft whisper floating upon the cold Summer breeze. She spoke nothing more, again turning into the statuesque form which Celestia had first met upon the balcony.

The night was alive with nature's symphony, playing a soft, sweet tune of staccato chirps and intense cries. But Luna did not hear these things, could not see their beauty. Tonight, there was only one thing truly on her mind; it played its own bittersweet symphony of memories, accompanied by soft sobs and heavy tears, an aching heart the only instrument unheard.


	2. Part 2

Part2

_ After having examined several individuals under control and experimental conditions, we have come to the same conclusion as our colleagues; the potential of an individual's magical capabilities is positively correlated with the size of their horn. Naturally, we return to our initial question; how does the horn biologically function during magical processes?_

_ Past theories have suggested these horns are composed of special organic materials which magnify the force of an individual's magical essence. Bunsen's "Principles of Magic" supports this statement: _

_ "Inquiries into the nature of magic, however, have been largely met with natural restriction. Experiments conducted by the Institute of Equestrian Sciences have confirmed an individual's magical capabilities are directly correlated with the size of their horn. What perplexes most researchers is the biological makeup of these objects. Current research has shown these horns are composed of an indestructible material (which we refer to as 'unicornium'), making proper research difficult. At this time, we do not possess the proper equipment to experiment upon organic samples without risking an individual's health." (Gregg, Page 231)._

_While the organic properties of a unicorn horn cannot be accounted for, the function of a horn itself is seen as a focal point, in which magic is focused at its highest concentration; following much of the same principle as modern physics-_

"Princess?"

Luna glanced up from her studies. She could not make out the silhouette standing in her doorway; the room was lit inadequately by what little illumination her candles provided. She did, however, recognize the voice as Roebuck's, Luna's personal assistant and advisor. She nodded slightly in his direction before speaking.

"I-" she could only sputter; her voice was gravelly and hoarse. In Luna's concentration, she had declined to take any meals in the day's entirety. Her teapot sat empty, drained long ago and forgotten. The dry, musty air had not helped, either.

Luna began to reconsider her appeal to not be disrupted that day, even for refreshments.

Roebuck strode towards her, setting on the table a fresh pot of tea and a small platter of delicacies. No longer the young colt he once was, Roebuck still maintained a youthful gleam about his eyes, the result of an everlasting, childish wonder and thirst for knowledge.

"You would be wise to consider removing yourself from the library every once in a great while, Princess." He began to pour Luna a cup of tea; the aroma was sweet and soft, the taste smooth and light on her lips as she drank. Luna had not realized, until now, just how veracious her hunger and thirst had become. Still, Luna waited; pride would not yet allow her to indulge more than this. Clearing her throat, she spoke.

"Roebuck, I believe my statement for no interruptions was made quite clear." Luna looked sternly towards him; Roebuck simply smiled as he opened the shades and let in the warm, afternoon sunlight. Slowly, it crept across the shelves of books, reaching for the shadows.

"Is this how you address all of your guests? Or do I receive special treatment?" He replied in a playful tone. Luna did not share the same enthusiasm, still determined to make her point. This was not the first occasion upon which she had suffered from her own stubbornness.

"When I request to be left in solitude, I expect my orders to be followed in their entirety."

"A soldier must recognize when a captain's orders are too foolish to follow."

"It is not the soldier's place to question their captain's orders; 'it takes but a miniscule crack to ruin the sturdiest of vases.'"

"So you have studied FireHeart's Memoirs I see?" Roebuck smiled as he opened the window panes, letting in a fresh, warm breeze. Luna had, in fact, studied this piece many times over. It was a favorite document of hers, an intriguing bibliography of the life and philosophical studies of General FireHeart; arguably one of Equestria's greatest military tacticians.

In spite of Luna's determination to make her point, hunger and interest in philosophical discussion took over her demeanor. She began to indulge herself in the cakes, rolls, crackers, and delicacies which Roebuck had furnished, all while discussing the finer points of philosophy.

"A soldier... does not enlist in a military force to fight for himself. He, or she... relinquishes any individualism upon enlistment. The individual's life is not theirs to command... it belongs to the state. Without absolute compliance, an army... is highly impractical. Not to mention dishonorable."

"For a pony to sacrifice their freedom, their will, their ability to decide, is just as dishonorable as disobeying an order, is it not?"

"FireHeart suggests the ends may justify the means..." Luna trailed off.

It seemed Roebuck had bested her once again.

Quickly, finishing off the last bite of a cake, she added; "but... that, in itself, is another argument entirely."

"An argument for another day, I'm afraid. There is business that remains to be finished. If you will excuse me, Princess-"

"And if I order you to stay?" Luna chastised; she couldn't help but to wear a playful smirk. It had been some time since she had found an excuse to smile. Roebuck returned the same warm expression. Before he left, Luna added one last comment;

"Roebuck, I'd like to speak to you concerning a different philosophical subject. You will be given a reprieve on Thursday from your normal duties; please join me in the gardens at dusk. I find them much more pleasant than a dark, musty library."

"Then I assume these orders are not negotiable?" He couldn't help but to chuckle.

"Under no circumstances." Luna smiled, looking back to her work. Finding her place, she again began to read:

"..._ following much of the same principle as modern physics suggests. While this hypothesis has yet to be proven, it is generally accepted as a credible explanation. _

_ But how can you explain heartache? You can't. No, not you. But me... oh yes, I can explain it! I can tell you exactly what it is; it's Luna! That's what! You monster! I hope you die the same grisly, slow death as me! I __hope you die, Luna!__Die! DIE! Die from your grief!__Die from your shame!__Don't cry Luna! DON'T CRY! Why are you crying? It's not like your heart was broken; not like mine!__ Oh yes, you know it was you who caused my pain, don't you? The pain you feel does not come close to the agony that tore me apart! Tear... tear apart... yes, I'm going to tear you apart! Inch by inch, limb by limb, snip by snip! Snip! Snip! Snip! __And you're going to watch! And you'll shout, and you'll cry, and you'll want to die! But you won't! I won't allow it! __I want you to feel my pain, Luna! You'll die! Oh yes! Oh yes, you will! The birds will peck at your flesh! __The beast will ravage your carcass! And nopony will care about such a monster! __I can feel my hooves! My hooves around your throat! Struggle, Luna! Struggle! Just as I struggled to love you! Just as I struggled to live another day! Don't give up, Luna! I never gave up on you! Don't close your eyes! Don't close them! DON'T GIVE UP ON ME, LUNA!_

···

Luna awoke, but did not scream. She could only lay; lay in her fear, her sweat, her agony. She could not cry tears, could not weep. Fear had paralyzed her mind and body; she could not comprehend what her eyes saw, or what her body felt. All Luna could do was lie in her bed, numb to the world around her.

Nearly three days had passed before Luna shown signs of conscience awareness; a week before any physical response. All the while, she had shown but one sign of life. Luna whispered the same words, over, and over, and over again;

_"I'm so sorry, my love... I'm so sorry..."_


	3. Part 3

Darkness.

No... not just darkness... also light.

Light on the walls... and a floor.

The floor; she wasn't on the floor.

She was lying on something... a bed; her bed.

She must be in her room.

But how did she-

...the dream... was it...

Luna felt at her throat, hooves shaking.

No, no bruises. No pain. It was... it was just a dream.

A horrible, horrible dream.

No, not a dream... some of it... some of it had happened. Roebuck had been real...

_Had_ been real. Not anymore.

Her fault... it was all her fault.

Luna's mind raced; her body ached. She shifted her weight, trying to learn forward.

Her head; she could feel it pulsing, throbbing. The pain made her cringe. Her limbs were stiff.

Still, she fought again to rise.

But something resisted. Something was weighing her down.

A wing; a large, white wing laid across her chest. She turned her head.

Celestia... it was Celestia.

Luna huddled closer to her sister.

She rested her head at Celestia's side, hidden beneath a winged veil. It made her fell safe, and secure; yet her mind would not rest. Memories of the nightmare still lingered, playing upon her thoughts. Fear dwelt in her heart, raced in her conscience. She could not bear another dream like the last; she must stay awake.

_Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump._

Luna listened to the sound of her sister's heart. It was strong, and firm; full of kindness, overflowing with compassion; reminding her of the heart she once had.

_Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump._

Luna's eyes began to grow heavy.

_Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump._

She fought against fatigue, fought against sleep.

_Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump._

Her visions slowly narrowed, eyes closing.

_Thump-thump... thump-thump... thump-thump..._

Her breathing slowed; slightly, she stretched.

_Thump-thump... thump-thump..._

Her body relaxed... her mind fell at ease...

_Thump-thump..._

_Thump-thump..._

_Thump-thump..._

_···_

The smell of lavender and nightshade filled her senses with delight. Luna breathed deeply; a smile spreading upon her face. The garden was alive with the flickering of lightning bugs, dancing to the sweet melody of nature's chirps and hums. She walked among the large pine trees, taking in the fresh scent of their needles.

"Luna! Luna?" a voice in the distance called. Her heart jumped. She could not see his face, but even so, she identified the voice. It could only belong to one colt.

"Luna, where are you?" She turned to her left, in the direction of the voice. Luna tried to speak, but could only manage a whisper.

"Roebuck?"

"Luna?" the voice questioned. It chuckled, speaking in a playful tone. "Come now, quit hiding! I'd much rather see you! Luna?"

"Roebuck! I... I am here!" Her voice quivered, heart racing. She felt a warmth growing inside her, the beating of her heart grew louder. Luna stepped again towards the voice.

"Luna, where are you? Come now, you know I don't care for filly games."

She began to move towards the voice; her limbs were weak, but on she trotted. The voice was so near, yet she couldn't find its posessor.

"I am here! Roebuck! Roebuck!"

Luna could hear his voice, shouting her name in the distance; yet it only grew farther and farther away, fading from her ears.

"Please! Roebuck! Come back! I'm sorry! I'm... Roebuck! Please... please, don't leave me here... don't leave me."

_···_

"Please, don't leave me..."

Whispering these words, Luna opened her eyes; she had been in the garden mere seconds ago.

A blanket covered her, damp with sweat. Her body was shaking as cold chills pierced her skin. There was a nuzzling at her mane, and a soft voice begging at her ear.

"Luna? Luna, please... can you hear me? Please, Luna..."

"Cel-..." Luna tried to speak; her throat was dry and sore, permitting only whispers. "Celestia?" Using every bit of strength, she rolled herself over to face her sister.

Their gaze met. Luna could see the worry in Celestia's eyes, embellished by a faint pink tinge and stark, red lines. The signs of a mourning heart.

"Please, tell me you are well!" She gazed intently at Luna, looking for any signs of life; anything which would ease her worry.

"I... I am now." Celestia nuzzled her neck in affection; Luna returned the gesture. Neither spoke, but laid together, content in the embrace of a sister.

Both had undergone their own ordeals in the past four days. Luna's dreams had taken both a great physical and mental toll. Her body was dehydrated and nutritionally deprived; her mental state had prevented any intake of food. The risk of Luna choking on an item was too great for Celestia to give her consent; it had not yet been a necessary danger. Sleep deprived, Luna's body had weakened further, along with her mental constitution.

Celestia, too, had undergone physical and psychological stress since learning of her sister's condition. She could vividly remember the moment she had received the news. The weather had been particularly suitable that day; bright, fragrant, and full of nature's beauty. She expressed her wish to take lunch in the garden.. The smell of Summer had been light, but wonderful to her senses. It was in this ecstasy, this pure delight, which Celestia had heard the shouts of a palace attendant. In a matter of moments, her world had changed from a place of pleasure, to a realm of pain.

It was noon before Luna had been discovered. The palace attendants, and Celestia, herself, were used to not seeing or hearing a word from Luna, with the exception being meal times. She was normally studying documents in the library, pouring over a novel, or meditating in solitude, therefore taking her meals in these respective places. Yet, on this day, she was not to be found in any of these locations. Some time later, the attendant who served Luna's meals decided to check her personal quarters; it was there, upon her bed, that Luna laid. Her mind was gone; she gave no response to the attendant's actions. Luna would simply repeat the same words, time and again;

_"I'm so sorry my love... I'm so sorry."_

Since that time, Celestia had laid at Luna's side. She remained awake all day, and through most of the night, doing what she could to make Luna comfortable. Yet, it frustrated her terribly; there was nothing she could do to truly help her sister. Magic was too unpredictable, too much of a risk without knowing what had caused Luna's condition. The medical staff had agreed; Luna's recovery was a matter of time and patience. And so Celestia would wait by her sister's side, wiping the sweat from her face and enveloping her with a sister's love. It was all she could do; lay, wait, and hope.

Now, Celestia could once more look into the familiar eyes of her sister, which filled her heart with joyous relief. Gone was the stare which looked to some infinite place, the empty eyes of a fleshy shell. They held a spark of life, understanding, intelligence... and sorrow.

"Luna, my dear sister... how did this happen to you? Who is this lover you have spoken of?"

"Spoken of?" Luna croaked. Celestia only now regained her sense; she had forgotten, in her excitement, Luna's physical condition. She quickly used her magic to bring her a cup of tea, and a light tray of foods to calm her hunger. Luna took the cup graciously, drinking it all in one, large swig.

_My dream_, she thought... _just like my dream_.

Celestia offered her cakes, but Luna no longer held interest. It, too, only reminded her of the terrible vision.

"Sister, it has been four days; you must east something." Luna wore a look of confusion; she glanced at Celestia.

"Four days?"

"Yes, sister. You have lain in bed for several days, wearing only an empty gaze..." Celestia's voice wavered; she stopped, taking time to breath, regaining her composure and strength. She took a sip of tea, slightly shaking.

" You would not respond to my words; would not look into my eyes. Luna... you repeated the words 'I'm sorry, my love.' What does this mean? Do you remember anything, dear sister?"

Luna turned away from Celestia, and looked at the ceiling above. Vivid images of her dreams returned to mind; they played over and over again. She could see Roebuck; hear his chastising voice. Her throat tightened as his words stabbed at her conscience. _Die, die; die from your grief; die from your shame._

"I remember speaking no such thing... but... their meaning to me is clear. You remember, not long ago, when I spoke with you upon the balcony... of Roebuck?"

Celestia quietly recalled her sister's demeanor. "Yes, I remember."

Luna closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

"I told you about my dreams; how he haunted my mind both day and night. Many times, I have dreamt of him, Celestia; but never have my dreams been this vivid. Even... even in the early days of his passing, I had strong dreams, yet they never did this to me."

"What has caused them to become so powerful, then, sister?" Celestia questioned. Again, there was silence. Luna did not answer her question, but rather posed another.

"How did you cope with your mother's passing, Celestia?"

It was not the answer Celestia had hoped for; nor was it a subject she wished to discuss. Yet, she would not provoke her sister. Lightly, she sighed.

"We have spoken of this before-"

"Yet we have never spoken of it in detail..." Luna stated, turning again towards Celestia. "Please, sister, do not take my words with malice. I only mean-"

"I understand," Celestia interrupted. She removed herself from Luna's bed. Using her magic, she gave Luna a cup of tea and delicacies from a tray. "I too have a desire to know your thoughts; yet now is not the time. You are physically and mentally weak from your ordeal... as am I, sister." Celestia replaced Luna's damp, sweaty blanket with a fresh sheet as she spoke. "I ask for you to prolong your questions until we are both in a better condition. And, please," Celestia looked longingly into her sister's eyes. "Promise me you will also reveal your heart, Luna. Not only about your dreams... but also your feelings for... him. I do not wish for my sister to carry such a burden alone," she said, and smiled; "that is why you have a sister."

Again, Luna hesitated. She did not answer the question, but again posed her own; " Would you stay with me, Sister? I do not wish... to be left alone." Celestia frowned; why was her sister so hesitant? She did not care for the secrecy; yet she also knew Luna was fatigued, and needed to recover from her traumatic experience. What she needed now were not questions, but instead a loving and caring sister.

"I would not abandon you, Luna. You are my sister; the one I love most in this world. Without you at my side, I am not sure what I would do." And so she laid on Luna's bed, watching over her sister as she indulged the cakes and treats which sat beside her. It was not long before Celestia slept, resting her weary heart for the first time in many days.

Luna, however, did not rest as easily. She could not help but feel some guilt at her intended deception. She wanted to pour out her heart to Celestia; to explain the truth about her relationship with Roebuck. She wished to correct the lies, and apologize for the deceit. But fear, fear held her back. A fear of shame; a fear of rejection; a fear of losing her only sister.

How was she to say to her; I have killed my lover with grief, and my child with selfish desire?


	4. Interlude - Update

Hi everyone! I found my way back here after a while, and realized Rebirth was still getting views! 0.o; I apologize to those who were reading; I never did update. :( I do, however, have a Part 4 that was nearly finished. I thought I might post it for you all, if you'd like. Please let me know! That doesn't mean there will be any further parts, but perhaps I might take on the project. I think the story has lost some of it's appeal, since the show has slightly elaborated upon the subject, but that's no reason to stop I suppose. Thank you all, again, for your feedback! I truly do appreciate it. Unfortunately, my interest rushes and wanes, and it just so happened to wane, pertaining to writing. I really hate to give anyone false hope, so I won't promise any further chapters, but it is something I will keep in mind. I may begin a different Homestuck project, idk. 


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